Awake

I remember the day when i first arrived here.. the curiosity and excitement.. the shatter dream.. starting clueless in a new world.. like an alien in US.. took all my courage out.. just for a bet in my lifetime.. and yet.. it's a bet.. or escape.. this is really a question.. but still.. no matter what's the answer.. there's always the same goal.. Money.. the ghost that will haunt your whole life.. from the first day i'm born.. that's the reason i end up in here.. finally.. it has been a year.. after end of this month.. my first anniversary.. what did i gain for this year? i'm not sure.. i have been having too much trouble with my own.. fighting among myself.. confusing right.. that's what i felt about myself.. simplify.. i wanted to have a better tomorrow.. but i can't felt it with what i'm doing.. i felt not secure in the future.. what can i gain in 3 years time.. 5 years.. how long should i stay then.. and more.. but finally i realise.. continuing doesn't help.. i've live my life in thinking too much.. planning is good.. but my decision making is bad.. better follow the flow.. where needed me and that the place i should go.. the importance is not what i could be tomorrow.. the importance is how i feel today..