Life

Who am I?

What am I doing here?

How can my life be more effective daily?

How can I be happy?

This is the slogan i saw it in the advertising board today during the way to work.. when i read it.. i try to answer it in my heart.. knowing that the answer can't even appear in my own thought at all.. what a failure.. am i turning weaker daily or actually i've atop advancing.. but i remember the day when i'm strong.. my good old day.. i really don't understand.. have i change? is this the fate of my life.. maybe the effect from my young days.. too much ecstasy last time.. haha.. now paying the cost.. brain cell all damage.. can't think normally.. stupid idea and bullshit is the only greatest plan i have now.. my strength has vanished.. building up rapidly is all my weakness.. if there's a chances for me to choose.. i wish i can be reborn.. i choose death.. by then i can re correct my life.. redo all over again.. starting all over again.. am i too negative or what.. this is all the thought i have at this very moment.. still.. i have to wake up.. to the reality world.. wearing the mask.. conceal my weakness.. but the happy n joyful me has disappear.. i'm no longer the one that all knew.. i can't even wear a smile not even a false one.. confusing.. when did i drop into such a disaster situation.. truly.. i can't answer it even to myself.. i've no idea at all.. is seem like i've went into a trap.. that i can't escape from.. i wish it's all a dream.. a bad dream.. waiting for the time to wake.. what can i do with the rest of my life.. i've lost all my confidence of myself.. there's no believe.. no faith.. please somebody or anything.. lead me.. i'm desperately looking for hope..